(evidence of my love for having a plan)
this weekend, caitlin was supposed to come for a visit. we were going to have a glorious weekend of lounging, burger eating, long running and wearing matching pants together. it was going to be the blend meet up of the century. i was so excited. and then weather happened. caitlin texted me that snow was supposed to hit her little corner of the universe and also pretty much every other spot along her travel path. my first reaction was to be super mad at the snow. we talked about ways we could change the plans to make them work but realized that ultimately it's a safer decision for her to stay in PA for the weekend and we'll just have to make new plans for another meet up (which we already have started!).
(best part about virtual dates is you don't have to share your fries)
this was upsetting for TONS of reasons, but i realized looking back on how i handled it that my first reaction was to be upset but then i immediately started thinking of the positives: caitlin would be safe (obvi a bonus), i didn't have to clean my bathroom (ummm yeah...that's a positive for me), we could still text and instagram our way through the weekend together (virtual burger date on saturday night - anyone else in?) and now we could have another visit to look forward to!
(source)
this may seem like not a big deal to most of you guys, but for me my usual disposition is to be extremely negative about a situation. tex is always calling me out for being a huge pessimist because he is always trying to be optimistic. i think it's a method of self-preservation for me: if i assume the worst, then i can't be disappointed. amazingly this is a completely ineffective technique but that doesn't make a difference in my mind, i'd still keep right on being negative rather than looking at the bright side.
so i'm still really bummed caitlin isn't coming, but i'm also very proud of myself for looking at the brighter sides of the situation. i am going to try to get some work done for school that i probably would have skipped otherwise, i'm going to fit in an unexpected run with my friends jess and rach, and i'm going to try my best not to wallow in having to change my plans. every cloud has a silver lining and i think i'm finally starting to see things that way.
how are you at finding the positives in bad situations?
<3
You are amazing! And i am still cracking up about the matching pants part (still wearing mine tomorrow btw). We will make this happen, we will both have fabulous weekends with ourselves and local friends and virtual burger dates and we will be well rewarded for our attitude now! I can feel it :)
ReplyDeletei just love you to pieces.
Deletesilver lining girl, silver lining. it is tough one for me too, I am negative nancy most of the time. have a great friday!
ReplyDeletenegative nancies unite!
DeleteSo much easier said than done. Glad you were able to come to terms this weekend--it'll work out and this way you can run on the treadmill and avoid the COLD outside :)
ReplyDeletehaha i actually ended up bucking up and running outside! even happier with myself!
DeleteGreat post! I'm similarly inflexible about stuff. I don't like when plans change on the fly and I like to know what I will be doing at a particular time/day a few days in advance. Unfortunately, life doesn't always respect my personal calendar and I've found that I miss out on a lot when I don't let myself just go with the flow. It looks like you're taking everything in stride though :).
ReplyDeletethat's exactly it - i was missing out on things because i couldn't relax a little. and thanks, i'm trying my best!
DeleteI agree with just about everything you touched on in this post. I live and die by my plan. Flexibility and spontaneity are not my strong suits. It's definitely something I try to work on, though. That's such a bummer about your weekend, but way to find the positive in the situation (no bathroom cleaning = happiness).
ReplyDeletehaha no bathroom cleaning for the win!
Deletei struggle with being inflexible as well! i'm a super planner and am constantly making backup plans in my head because i future trip over what if it falls through, what if i have a hole in my schedule, WHAT WILL HAPPEN. i've literally stopped myself from making plans now on most weeknights because so often i'd make plans then, they'd come along, and i'd be tired from work/the gym and just want to stay in. it's really been beneficial for me b/c on nights i do want to go do something i've always been able to find someone to hang out with!
ReplyDeletei think challenging ourselves and also giving ourselves props when we handle a change in plans well, like you did, is key. i'm happy for you that you were able to see the bright side!
thanks cait! i appreciate knowing that other people deal with the same stuff that i do. makes me feel like less of a nut.
DeleteIt's always tough to have something you are looking forward to, fall through. Sadly this is why I tend to do things on my own or set my expectations sort of low. That's really sad to say but I don't like being disappointed. However, I love your idea of turning it around and after all, that's what life does for us, teach us how to problem solve!
ReplyDeleteno i totally get it - but i'm so glad i've been able to look at the positives!
Delete"i think it's a method of self-preservation for me: if i assume the worst, then i can't be disappointed."
ReplyDeleteWowza. Kid you not: this is the story of my life. I was actually just talking about this with my roommate a week and a half ago. I don't want to get hurt, so I do what I can to make sure that doesn't happen. Of course, it's not actually effective at all, because even if I go into something saying, "Oh, there's no way this will happen," deep down I always believe that it will, which means I've not only spent a ton of time expecting things to go poorly and being negative about it from that side of things, but then if things do go poorly I'm still upset when it's all said and done.
Lately I've gotten a lot better at going with the flow and letting life happen, though I find I'm still a bit of a planner. Like this weekend, for example. I'm hoping something will come up so I have plans on Saturday night, but I don't know for sure if anything will, so I have a back up plan to keep myself from being disappointed if nothing happens. If I don't end up having plans tomorrow night, then I'll finally get around to cleaning the kitchen/bathroom and reading a book I've been slowly working my way through. If I do have plans, welp, the bathroom will still be there to clean on Sunday (...or Monday...or the next weekend...or never. Hahaha). I think knowing that I'm capable of making my own fun and that I don't have to rely on others to be happy really helps me stay positive in a negative situation.
EXACTLY - i do the same things all the time - i expect them to go poorly so if they do i'm still not that happy because i spent so much time being negative and if they do suck then i'm still pissed. the worst. i agree with you about knowing that you're capable of making your own fun. that's a great way to look at it!
DeleteI used to be absolutely horrible when it came to finding the positives in a negative situation, but over time I think I just got tired of taking away so much of my own happiness and started to try to make the best of things. It was definitely a struggle, and felt more like I was faking it at first, but I guess it must have caught on because now I usually don't have a problem looking on the bright side.
ReplyDeleteYou did awesome, hun, and I hope you have a great weekend, even with the slight change of plans.
thanks! so far i'm having a great weekend even if it isn't what i was expecting!
DeleteHA i literally just wrote a post about expecting the worst..like always. i'm trying to decide if i should try and change it, but when things go well then it's just such a happy surprise. dilemmas dilemmas
ReplyDeletehaha exactly! that's just how i felt!
DeleteIf you spend your life waiting for the other shoe to drop, it will always fall because you'll always see that it has. But if you believe that those shoes have wings and that they'll always find a way to stay in the air, then you'll fly.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that made one single shred of sense.
Can I join in the burger date? ;) Text me?
YES you absolutely can join in, i'd love to have you!
DeleteHa Ha, love your little burger date... and that you mentioned now you don't have to share :)
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend my dear!!
i hate sharing, it's my worst personality trait :)
Delete